Mission Vigilant: Turning Grief Into Purpose with Susan Cleland

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Change takes time, growth takes work, but showing up every day is progress.

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This is the 365 Proof Podcast, where we share real stories, honest conversations,

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and practical insight from mental health experts, addiction specialists.

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365 Proof Podcast by Defining Wellness. I’m your host, Daniel Pfeiffer.

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And I’m Courtney Milan, the co-host.

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And we are very excited to have Susan Cleland in the studio today.

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Yes, thank you, Beth. Susan is a wife, a mother, a grandmother, and a force.

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She is the visionary behind Mission Vigilant, which is a nonprofit that supports

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veterans and service members, first responders, all of the like,

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get resources that they need to take care of their mental health.

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And we are most certainly going to let her get into all of the details about that.

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So welcome, Susan. Thank you. Yeah, we’re glad you’re here.

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You are our first guest. Yeah, this is our first guest. We are so excited. No pressure. No.

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Pressure’s on us for sure. But we’re really glad you’re here.

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I want to talk a little bit about before kind of we get started when I met you,

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I can’t remember if I reached out to you first or if you reached out to me but

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I remember you and your husband coming out for a tour.

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And telling me your story and I know we didn’t get into too many of the details,

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but it was enough for me to understand that you have a story and a passion and

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just a heart that not everybody is blessed with.

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So I just want to say that I knew when we met and we haven’t done as much together

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as I would like, but I think that this is kind of a good first step.

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I knew that our paths would cross again at some point. I remember telling people

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and calling people, I’m like, have y’all met this Susan Cleland woman before?

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You started texting me immediately.

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You were like, Courtney, I just met the most incredible woman that is a force, you said force.

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And you were like the passion. I was like, you were like, get your calendar out.

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Yeah, for sure. we when when

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we came up with this idea for this podcast you’re you

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were one of the first names where i was like all right we got to get her on

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to tell us about this especially now that you know not to plug defining wellness

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too much but i think it’s important to note that like we talked about before

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we got started we’re we’re making a huge push to treat veterans and service

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members right now and and really trying to kind of,

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support them in ways that maybe we wouldn’t be able to otherwise.

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And I think that people listening to this and hearing your story and us listening

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to it and all of our staff will help us even more.

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So that’s the goal. The goal of this podcast, like we’ve mentioned in our intro

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episode, is to help at least one person.

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That’s all. That’s it. That’s it.

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So yeah, I just remember meeting you and your husband and thinking like,

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this is the real deal. Yeah.

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Susan, what did your connection look like when you guys crossed?

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I want to say that Ruthann Rigby told me about you. That makes sense.

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And I think I just said, I just need to meet him.

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I need to come out here and see what it’s all about. Yeah. And so the tour is amazing.

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I love everything that you’re doing out here. It just seems phenomenal.

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I tell so many people about this facility because I think it’s calming and comfortable and beautiful.

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Beautiful. Thank you. I feel the same way.

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I feel like every time I drive, I go down the reservoir, I go down the trace,

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and then I pull in and I pull in the trees, and I’m just like,

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that feeling never gets old. Never.

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To this place. You know, so again, thank you for being here.

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And we’re, we’re looking forward to just kind of talking about all the things

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I think, you know, we want to get into your book.

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We want to get into the nonprofit, but I think most importantly,

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we want to hear about you and, and your story and how you got here.

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Well, this was not my dream. I will say that. I had no idea this was going to happen.

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But guess what? God has bigger plans than what we ever dream of.

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So in June of 2019, we lost our oldest son that was a veteran to suicide.

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And I didn’t even know that was a thing. So all these men and women that came

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in for his service that he served with all over the world were standing in my

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living room and talking about this 22 thing.

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And I said, what are y’all talking about? And they said, do you know about the

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22 that we lose a day that are veterans?

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Because we talk about that often with each other and say, we’re not going to let that be us.

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And I just, my heart sunk. And so I told my husband at the time,

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I can’t even think about this right now.

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I got to take care of my kid. And so anyway, after that, well,

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before Michael, before we lost Michael, my mom died a year before and then Michael died.

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And then I lost my only sister eight months after that.

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That’s a lot of grief. That’s a lot of grief. For any person. No doubt about it.

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And my husband has worked at the VA for 35 years.

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He’s retiring in March. Because of him. We’re so excited. That’s awesome. Oh, my gosh.

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And so he sees this often with the veterans.

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And when I had told him after my sister Shannon died,

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I said, you got to find me somebody because you’re

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fixing to lose your wife so he found me

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this amazing counselor at life works and

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she works with veterans and military active military and their families and

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i didn’t want to be the one that said i understand the secret stuff about the

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military anymore i needed to know because i respected michael when he was alive

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but i needed to know. Right.

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Because we had no idea there was any kind of a struggle.

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And so if he could blindside us and his friends and everyone,

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we’re thinking, what is happening in their minds?

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You know, he served three tours in Afghanistan and that was a lot.

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He didn’t want to go over there anymore. And we just respected that.

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And so she walked me through that. And I was going into counseling once a week,

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once every two weeks, once every three weeks.

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And she finally got me to the point where I was going once a month.

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And guess what? I’m still going.

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It’s for you. It doesn’t stop. It doesn’t stop. Because you’re a mother and

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you’re someone that’s missing your loved one.

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So I have great days and then I have bad days. And this is just part of living. Right.

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So anyway, two years into that, I’m feeling better about myself.

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I’m able to work and do the normal things love my family that’s still here be

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friends with my friends and he comes home and he said what do you think about

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us starting a non-profit for Mississippi I said what are you talking about.

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He said, there is nothing available for active veterans, first responders,

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and their families to get anonymous free counseling.

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And we could do it. I said, honey, if we can do one, save one, let’s do it.

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So May of 2022 was when we started.

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And so far, we have been able to help 45 individuals get 150 sessions of counseling. Incredible.

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So it’s working. It can quickly, too. Obviously. Yes, it’s working.

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So the whole thing is, you do not need to tell your boss.

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If you’re a police officer and you know it’s hard going in there,

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those are the hardest ones to reach. The police officers?

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Because they have to always be so tough. And I get that. But you still go home. Yep.

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And you still have a normal life. And you’re still at home when you’re home.

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Yes. And don’t you want to still be a daddy or a mother?

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Don’t you still want to be able to do the fun things with your friends and your family?

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Yes. So happy and healthy is important, even though it’s a serious job.

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So we’re telling you, we got your back. Right.

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Anonymously and free. There’s no, there’s no strings.

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You just tell the counseling agencies we’re using, I want to use Mission Vigilant Funds.

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And guess what? We’ll make it happen. Yes.

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It’s awesome. It’s unbelievable. I mean, tell me that number one more time, Susan. How many? 45. 45.

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150 sessions. 150 sessions. And it’s been two and a half years. Mm-hmm.

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Yeah, that’s amazing. So, and I know y’all use, you know, outpatient.

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Remind me, who y’all is it? So right now, the two agencies that we really are

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using are Cornerstone Counseling. Yes, Lee Smith. Yes, he’s wonderful.

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He’s the best. And then LifeWorks in Madison.

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Great. So, of course, we would love to branch out and use more because Mississippi has a lot of areas.

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Right. I’ll have people from other areas and they’ll text me and call me and

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say, I have a friend. They never tell me it’s them.

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I have a friend or a family member.

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Can you tell me where? And I’ll say, where are you? Would you want to Zoom or

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would you want to actually go there?

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And then I’ll tell them where to call. Okay, great.

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That’s good. I was curious about the process.

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Well, let’s, before we get into Mission Vigilant and all that,

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I want to talk about, you know, with whatever your comfort level is,

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just being a mother, going through that.

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I know, I know you and I, and I’m going to know you better, but just from what

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I know, I know there have been a lot of moms and a lot of families that you

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have helped get through similar things. I do hope so.

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It is a really struggle. Yeah. It’s constant. You know, the mamas that I know

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all over, really all over the United States, because I met this lady that travels the United States.

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And the very first fundraiser we did was really for her.

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And she pulled me aside and she said, you need to do something for Mississippi

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because we raised $20,000 for her.

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I said, come to Mississippi. We will raise your money because it’s a giving state.

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And she was using her own money. Wow. So when we gave her that, she was just,

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So shocked because she’s from New York.

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She’s a totally different woman, you know. Coming all the way down to good old

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Mississippi. But the heart she has is amazing.

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So she has two sons that have served and they’re veterans now.

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And she said, I could be one of y’all.

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So she formed a private group on Facebook for moms all over.

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And she tries to visit all of them that she can. When I first came into the

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group, which was in 19, right before 2020, there was 23 moms.

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I was the 23rd mom. Oh, wow.

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Guess how many are in there now? How many? How many?

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Like 551. You’re kidding. Wow. So there’s just a need across the board. Yes.

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So the mamas that she has, once she asked me, she said, I need you to tell me

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the last six months of Michael’s life.

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And I said, well, I’m going to cry. And she’s like, that’s okay.

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So once I got finished, she said, you don’t realize the strength that you’re

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in your voice, but I hear it. And I said, well, I don’t feel like that.

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And she said, after all the moms that I’ve talked to, yes. because there’s mamas

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that are drinking, they’re drugging, they can’t get out of the bed.

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They close all the photos of their child. They don’t want to talk about their name.

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They’re angry at God, just on and on and on. The military, I mean, just so many things.

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And I said, we’re not promised tomorrow, are we?

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And didn’t he do a lot of suffering too?

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So I have to remind myself of that. Yeah.

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And the one verse that helped me forever is Psalms 139, 16.

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He knows our days, right? And so I just kept remembering that and kept remembering that.

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And yes, I had to talk with the whole family and ask them how they felt about

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us sharing my heart, the world.

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Are you okay with this? Your brother’s going to be talked about.

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You know, our son’s going to be talked about.

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How does that make y’all feel? And they were like, Mom, we have to do this.

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We didn’t even know about this. Yes, this is important.

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It just showed up for you. God put it in front of you. Yes.

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So it’s not my path I wanted. Right. But obviously it’s important.

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Yeah, there’s no doubt. Yeah.

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Wow. And, you know, just recently here in the local community and across the

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state, you know, you hear about young people who have lost their life.

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And, you know, when you get a call from a mom, a dad, a brother,

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a sister, whatever, a child of a parent who may have lost their life,

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whether it was to suicide or, you know,

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something mental health, substance abuse related, anything like that.

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I’m trying to think of the best way to ask this because from my own experiences,

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grief was a huge, death was a big part of my story.

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It felt like everybody around me was dying.

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And I had survivor’s guilt and I wasn’t living the way God wanted me to.

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And so I was wondering why it wasn’t me.

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And, you know, I deal with this on the substance abuse level mostly, right?

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Which includes mental health. And a lot of the times it’s overdoses.

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But there, you know, there are a lot of people in the recovery community who

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still have underlying mental health issues that, you know, they do,

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they take their own life.

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And so now that I have children, because when we met, I didn’t have kids.

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And now I have two. Yeah, we’ve been busy. We’ve been busy.

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So as a dad, I just, what does that look like? Where do you start? start?

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When you get a call from a mother who’s lost their child, let’s use that as

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an example, where do you start?

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You have to love them. Yeah. At first, you have to, right? I mean,

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that’s all you can do is just be there.

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Yes. They just want you to hold their hand. They want to talk about them.

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They could care less what kind of advice you have. That is not what they want.

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Right. They want to know their importance.

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Please listen to my child. It’s so important for us to tell our kids or our

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loved ones story right because it keeps them alive yeah there’s no doubt about it yeah,

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yeah that’s that’s so there’s so much power to that and I and I I know you’re

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a woman of faith and I I think that.

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Ultimately, without it, how do you keep going, right?

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I mean, I tell everyone that I talk to, if you don’t have a foundation,

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I just don’t know how it’s going to work.

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I mean, I just say that. And I ask counselors, when you see someone,

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and I know you see people that don’t believe, how do you go through that?

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But as much as they will allow us to talk, but, you know, you never know what

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you might say to get someone to believe. That’s exactly right. Just never know.

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Yeah, that’s a good point. Yeah.

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It’s similar kind of in the recovery world, you know, without a spiritual foundation.

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It’s going to be very difficult to continue on at least—.

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Happily, I don’t know if happily is the word, but without a spiritual foundation,

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it’s hard to get to where you want to be. Right.

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So I can relate to that as well.

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Yeah. I knew this was going to be good, Courtney. I know. Me too.

00:16:51.473 –> 00:16:53.653
I’m just like, just listening.

00:16:54.473 –> 00:16:59.613
So do y’all want to hear how we started? Yeah. Let’s get into that because I

00:16:59.613 –> 00:17:01.453
have some buddies who’ve started some nonprofits.

00:17:02.013 –> 00:17:06.813
I sit on the board for a nonprofit. I know that starting a nonprofit is not

00:17:06.813 –> 00:17:10.193
an overnight snap of the finger type of thing. So tell us everything.

00:17:10.513 –> 00:17:16.173
Tell us about the roadblocks and we’ll get to how everybody can support and all that good stuff.

00:17:16.373 –> 00:17:19.693
So was the nonprofit first? Yeah. Or the book. Right.

00:17:20.153 –> 00:17:24.273
So I will say this. I have journaled my entire life. Oh.

00:17:24.533 –> 00:17:29.133
I mean, anytime I get through hurdles, which we’re all going to have hurdles

00:17:29.133 –> 00:17:33.053
in our life, good things, bad things, you just want to have memories.

00:17:33.693 –> 00:17:39.673
I’ve always journaled. And so I started journaling and I was angry at God.

00:17:40.033 –> 00:17:42.693
I had a thought that I wanted to remember.

00:17:43.073 –> 00:17:48.373
I mean, it was just all these thoughts. And I have a friend that’s a local author.

00:17:48.753 –> 00:17:49.993
Her name is Sherry Green.

00:17:50.693 –> 00:17:53.313
And I had coffee with her. Hold on, Sherry Green, Jackson Prep.

00:17:53.453 –> 00:17:56.193
We talked about this. She was my teacher. My gosh.

00:17:56.513 –> 00:18:01.253
I was not pleasant in her classroom either, but oh well. She is great.

00:18:02.093 –> 00:18:05.753
She was great. She’s amazing. She’s one of those, if I see her, I’m going to apologize.

00:18:07.033 –> 00:18:10.913
She’s amazing. So we had coffee together and I said, Sherry,

00:18:10.993 –> 00:18:13.593
I have all these books that I have written in.

00:18:13.933 –> 00:18:15.993
Can you help me put it into a book form?

00:18:17.064 –> 00:18:23.184
And Satan has a way of getting in there. I mean, he just wants to get in there.

00:18:23.764 –> 00:18:29.244
And so we prayed about it. We really thought about it because the whole point

00:18:29.244 –> 00:18:30.844
is it’s going to break your heart.

00:18:31.344 –> 00:18:37.104
The first four chapters are extremely difficult, but there’s so much hope.

00:18:37.684 –> 00:18:44.904
And in the back of the book, which people need, there is tons of resources because

00:18:44.904 –> 00:18:46.424
you don’t know where, what. it.

00:18:46.504 –> 00:18:50.204
You’re just kind of like, this is my story. Nobody else has my story.

00:18:50.944 –> 00:18:52.584
Absolutely, they do have your story.

00:18:53.744 –> 00:18:58.364
And so we want to help you get through that story. So that was very powerful

00:18:58.364 –> 00:19:01.704
to me. And she put, and we put all this together.

00:19:02.504 –> 00:19:05.044
And anyway, that’s how it happened.

00:19:06.244 –> 00:19:11.064
So the way we came up with the name, though, it was really important.

00:19:11.264 –> 00:19:13.564
What kind of name are we going to come up with.

00:19:14.064 –> 00:19:17.244
And like I said, I don’t want Michael to ever be forgotten.

00:19:17.984 –> 00:19:21.144
So my husband and I were really going through some different things.

00:19:21.144 –> 00:19:23.644
And he said, you know, we always want to think about Michael.

00:19:23.824 –> 00:19:27.124
So what about him for mission?

00:19:28.065 –> 00:19:31.465
V for vigilant, because we are very vigilant in what we’re doing.

00:19:31.725 –> 00:19:33.405
And his last name was Vincent.

00:19:34.205 –> 00:19:38.245
So every time I say mission vigilant, I’m thinking of him.

00:19:39.645 –> 00:19:41.465
So good. Yeah.

00:19:43.125 –> 00:19:48.745
Wow. And so, you know, you get with Miss Green. I’m going to call her Miss Green. Okay.

00:19:49.225 –> 00:19:52.245
Well, she’s amazing. You should have her on here, too. Oh, she is.

00:19:52.745 –> 00:19:55.385
That would be a full circle moment for sure. For sure.

00:19:55.985 –> 00:20:02.665
I love how intentional y’all were with that, about his initials and the name

00:20:02.665 –> 00:20:07.525
and the mission of what y’all are doing. It all makes sense.

00:20:07.885 –> 00:20:12.645
And it’s very obvious that God had a huge part. Role.

00:20:13.165 –> 00:20:17.885
Yes. Yeah, and every time something would happen, we would just say,

00:20:18.025 –> 00:20:19.345
it’s just not time yet. Right.

00:20:19.525 –> 00:20:24.845
Because God keeps pushing us, but obviously he’s not ready for that door to open.

00:20:25.385 –> 00:20:30.685
And then when it was time, I was like, okay, well, he’s ready for us to go forward

00:20:30.685 –> 00:20:31.685
where I guess we’re going.

00:20:32.465 –> 00:20:38.785
And so every time I have been frightened or not quite sure, it just works out.

00:20:38.965 –> 00:20:41.425
I don’t know what to tell you. It’s funny how it works out. Yes.

00:20:42.125 –> 00:20:45.865
Yes. It’s never our timing. No. Never. Ever.

00:20:46.565 –> 00:20:54.305
Never our timing. So, okay, so what did the beginning of starting this nonprofit look like?

00:20:54.305 –> 00:20:57.645
You know there’s been so much progress made in

00:20:57.645 –> 00:21:00.505
such a short amount of time if you really think about it and i

00:21:00.505 –> 00:21:05.005
mean even from what i can see from the outside looking in i’m seeing mission

00:21:05.005 –> 00:21:09.445
vigilant mission vigilant pop up i’ll see somebody else hear it or you know

00:21:09.445 –> 00:21:14.465
and it’s like when i met her i don’t remember seeing it as much so it’s the

00:21:14.465 –> 00:21:19.145
awareness is is there and it’s growing so when you start a non-profit.

00:21:20.233 –> 00:21:23.173
Who did you, you had to have consulted with somebody, right?

00:21:23.473 –> 00:21:27.493
Or did, other than God, right? Right. Well, that part is strange too,

00:21:27.733 –> 00:21:29.353
how different people come into your lives.

00:21:29.933 –> 00:21:33.173
So I don’t know if you know what I do by trade. I’m a hairdresser.

00:21:33.753 –> 00:21:43.473
I had a salon for years and years. My very first client that had an issue, he had ALS. He was 43.

00:21:43.973 –> 00:21:46.673
His name was Mari. I’ll never forget him.

00:21:47.873 –> 00:21:51.153
And he told me he said I just found out I have ALS and

00:21:51.153 –> 00:21:53.893
I said when you can’t maneuver your steering wheel let me know and I’ll come to

00:21:53.893 –> 00:21:56.973
your house so I took care of Mari for three years

00:21:56.973 –> 00:22:00.253
and when I’d come back into the salon it would always be on my day off and I’d

00:22:00.253 –> 00:22:04.593
come back into the salon and people were like how’s Mari doing so that was the

00:22:04.593 –> 00:22:10.073
story of the salon instead of chitty chat about somebody oh is sleeping with

00:22:10.073 –> 00:22:15.133
this person doing this and I would rather that you know and And so we talked

00:22:15.133 –> 00:22:16.833
about him and then somebody would say,

00:22:16.993 –> 00:22:20.213
well, my friend has six babies and there’s no way she can get to the salon.

00:22:20.413 –> 00:22:25.453
Or my friend’s dad is dying of dementia or, I mean, it was just building.

00:22:26.053 –> 00:22:31.333
And so over years, I was busy on my day off. You were running the roads.

00:22:31.533 –> 00:22:33.873
Yes. And I loved it. Yeah.

00:22:34.533 –> 00:22:38.433
Instead of just standing behind the chair. Right. You know, and so one day I

00:22:38.433 –> 00:22:41.273
told the girls in the shop, guess what? I’m closing up the salons.

00:22:42.271 –> 00:22:47.291
And I did. And my husband was like, have you lost your mind? How are we going to eat?

00:22:47.831 –> 00:22:53.091
I said, I don’t know, honey. It’s just going to work. And so I basically have

00:22:53.091 –> 00:22:56.791
a service for people that have issues.

00:22:57.271 –> 00:23:01.551
So I will go to nursing homes. I will go to people’s homes and even a caregiver.

00:23:01.871 –> 00:23:06.071
You know, caregivers can’t leave the house because they’re taking care of their loved one.

00:23:06.271 –> 00:23:10.131
And they need some feeling good. I look better.

00:23:10.891 –> 00:23:13.111
And when you get your hair cut, don’t you feel better? Absolutely.

00:23:13.231 –> 00:23:17.531
Every time. Like you don’t have the hair touching your ears and your neck and

00:23:17.531 –> 00:23:19.751
you can actually see again. Right.

00:23:20.071 –> 00:23:23.411
Poof up your hair. All the things. All the things.

00:23:23.571 –> 00:23:29.471
Now, not every single one of my clients are homebound, but that’s my heart. Yeah.

00:23:29.831 –> 00:23:34.971
And so they don’t realize how much they were helping me when I was helping them. Exactly.

00:23:35.371 –> 00:23:39.191
And it became a one-on-one relationship instead of everybody’s watching Susan.

00:23:39.511 –> 00:23:42.711
Yeah. I don’t know how I could have done that if I still had the salon.

00:23:43.411 –> 00:23:46.751
Like, everybody would have wanted to know, how’s she doing today?

00:23:46.911 –> 00:23:48.651
Yeah. Is she going to be okay cutting my hair?

00:23:48.891 –> 00:23:52.851
Right. I could not have handled that. Yeah. That would have been too much.

00:23:53.071 –> 00:23:57.691
So I think God knew what was happening to him.

00:23:58.106 –> 00:24:01.946
And I still thought, I must have lost my mind. And then COVID happened.

00:24:02.306 –> 00:24:05.786
And then everybody freaked out. Everybody lost their mind. You know?

00:24:06.606 –> 00:24:09.826
And so it was really. Everybody was at home. Yeah. Yes.

00:24:09.906 –> 00:24:13.046
And so everybody was like, oh, my gosh, Susan, tell me how you’re doing this

00:24:13.046 –> 00:24:15.586
home thing. You know, because they couldn’t go to work. Yeah.

00:24:16.246 –> 00:24:19.846
Got to make a living. Yes. Yeah. And so that was a lot of years ago,

00:24:19.846 –> 00:24:23.426
and I’m still doing it. Well, I didn’t have any heart when I had lost Michael.

00:24:23.786 –> 00:24:30.766
And so I just told people, don’t talk to me about it. Just let me be and tell me about your life.

00:24:31.066 –> 00:24:36.146
And then when I’m ready, I will start talking about it. And so anyway,

00:24:36.666 –> 00:24:38.906
that’s what I do full time.

00:24:40.226 –> 00:24:43.146
And people are starting to see that my heart is kind of changing,

00:24:43.146 –> 00:24:45.426
that I’m wanting to do this. Yeah.

00:24:46.366 –> 00:24:49.546
But I have some wonderful ladies that are helping me when I do it.

00:24:49.546 –> 00:24:52.726
I was going to ask. I was wondering if you had some people helping. Yes.

00:24:53.566 –> 00:24:59.306
That’s amazing. And so I’m wondering, people out here are always talking about

00:24:59.306 –> 00:25:02.586
how they wish we had somebody that would come in and do some stuff like that for our clients.

00:25:03.326 –> 00:25:06.686
Anyway, we can talk about that later. Yes. Yeah. Yeah.

00:25:06.946 –> 00:25:12.526
What, back to starting the nonprofit, what were their major roadblocks y’all had to go through?

00:25:12.786 –> 00:25:17.446
So that was what I was telling you is different people that are my clients or

00:25:17.446 –> 00:25:20.906
that I know somehow, they just were in my life.

00:25:20.906 –> 00:25:25.446
So my board members, my preacher is the vice president,

00:25:25.866 –> 00:25:31.626
a lady that was in the Brain Injury Association, had been talking to me about

00:25:31.626 –> 00:25:37.326
TBIs and stuff for years and telling me about how she did her work.

00:25:37.726 –> 00:25:41.646
She was like, let me help you if you really want to do this. She’s on my board.

00:25:42.973 –> 00:25:47.093
So all the people along the way. The counselor that helped me,

00:25:47.393 –> 00:25:50.653
I asked her to serve. I said, I would really love you.

00:25:50.713 –> 00:25:53.693
And she said, you know, I can’t still be your counselor.

00:25:54.153 –> 00:25:57.553
And I said, am I better? And she said, you’re better. I said,

00:25:57.633 –> 00:26:02.013
find me a new girl. I love it. Because I need you to help lots of people, not just me.

00:26:02.493 –> 00:26:10.773
And so she serves. Each person was just instrumental. I have a guy that is retired

00:26:10.773 –> 00:26:15.393
from the police force or sheriff’s department. He’s on our board.

00:26:15.673 –> 00:26:22.013
I have a veteran that serves all around the United States, taking 22 flags to mamas.

00:26:22.213 –> 00:26:26.933
He does so much for so many. He’s wonderful, and he’s on the board.

00:26:27.553 –> 00:26:34.293
Another veteran that he works in a bank, but he doesn’t serve anymore,

00:26:34.353 –> 00:26:39.013
but he helps us on the side. and then I have a guy that is on our board that

00:26:39.013 –> 00:26:40.633
is with the Mississippi National Guard.

00:26:41.013 –> 00:26:46.173
I mean, just different people that are with us have these big jobs that they’re

00:26:46.173 –> 00:26:48.513
passionate about helping.

00:26:48.793 –> 00:26:52.613
And that was the whole thing is I needed to know where is your passion?

00:26:52.753 –> 00:26:56.633
Because if it’s not helping this, that’s okay. Yeah.

00:26:56.853 –> 00:27:01.893
But if it is and you’ve lost someone or it was you that came close,

00:27:02.113 –> 00:27:05.433
whatever your story is, we need you.

00:27:06.093 –> 00:27:11.193
And so they are making things happen. It’s like what we were talking about before we started.

00:27:11.433 –> 00:27:15.493
You know, if you have the vision and then you surround yourself with people

00:27:15.493 –> 00:27:18.113
that can get. That have the same passion.

00:27:18.813 –> 00:27:23.853
It’s having people, good people around you is, you can’t put a price tag on

00:27:23.853 –> 00:27:25.853
that. No. You just can’t.

00:27:26.517 –> 00:27:31.717
So, yeah, that’s, that’s, that’s really the growth.

00:27:31.897 –> 00:27:34.917
I keep going back to the numbers in that amount of time.

00:27:36.057 –> 00:27:41.297
What’s crazy is we, you know, this better than we do, but the amount of people

00:27:41.297 –> 00:27:47.077
that haven’t reached out yet that can also benefit from Mission Vigilant,

00:27:47.257 –> 00:27:52.837
you know, and then talk about, talk about the events, talk about the RUC.

00:27:53.057 –> 00:27:56.317
Is there, are you doing two events per year right now?

00:27:56.917 –> 00:28:00.637
Really three, I should say, because you have to have money.

00:28:00.857 –> 00:28:05.577
Yeah, 100%. You have to have money. And so having these events,

00:28:05.737 –> 00:28:09.517
and we have to make it fun and light because we want you to enjoy,

00:28:09.837 –> 00:28:11.857
but it’s a serious situation.

00:28:12.317 –> 00:28:17.957
So the golf tournament that we have is always in July. It’s the third Friday in July. Yeah.

00:28:18.550 –> 00:28:25.610
So, we did that at Pearl Municipal Golf Course this year, and it was wonderful. We raised over $10,000.

00:28:27.310 –> 00:28:33.110
And then in September, the third Saturday in September, we will always have the Ruck event.

00:28:33.130 –> 00:28:37.870
And so, it’s a Ruck walk, but it’s also a Jeep motorcycle ride.

00:28:37.870 –> 00:28:43.410
We have a bake sale, silent auction, lots of vendors that come out and just

00:28:43.410 –> 00:28:44.470
partner. Stuff for kids, too.

00:28:44.710 –> 00:28:50.050
Yes, and a kids’ area that’s lots of fun. And we always will have a police car,

00:28:50.350 –> 00:28:53.750
a fire truck, a helicopter.

00:28:54.310 –> 00:28:58.390
Slam dunk for the Pfeiffer house. That’s right. And then we are so very fortunate

00:28:58.390 –> 00:29:02.670
to have Steve Grantham from Outback Steakhouse Supply Lunch.

00:29:03.570 –> 00:29:09.930
He is an amazing man. You need to have him. He loves first responders. He loves the military.

00:29:10.370 –> 00:29:13.270
He’s got the passion. And he is always helping, helping.

00:29:14.030 –> 00:29:18.790
And so when people don’t know my story, I always share that at the very beginning

00:29:18.790 –> 00:29:22.590
before it takes off, if it’s the golf or if it’s the rug.

00:29:23.290 –> 00:29:29.170
And like this year, I had several people come up to me and they were telling

00:29:29.170 –> 00:29:34.330
me their stories, either of a person that they lost or their own struggles.

00:29:34.570 –> 00:29:37.770
Or, you know, I spend this much.

00:29:37.770 –> 00:29:41.210
I wonder if, and I’m like, you absolutely can use us.

00:29:41.210 –> 00:29:44.870
We want you to use us right so,

00:29:45.550 –> 00:29:48.470
people just don’t know yet and that’s why word of

00:29:48.470 –> 00:29:51.430
mouth we just have to keep on pushing yeah they

00:29:51.430 –> 00:29:57.870
just don’t know yeah what to ask or who no and y’all raise how much money did

00:29:57.870 –> 00:30:01.610
y’all raise at the Ruck for the Ruck it was almost 19,000 yeah 19,000 gosh that’s

00:30:01.610 –> 00:30:07.270
incredible and they do it at Lake Caroline is there a t-shirt oh yeah I love

00:30:07.270 –> 00:30:10.950
you love a good t-shirt I like a t-shirt so do all my little friends yeah,

00:30:11.770 –> 00:30:16.910
So, okay, well, the, I’m glad, I’m glad we’re talking about the events because you’re right.

00:30:17.749 –> 00:30:23.069
How can we support in sponsorships, donations, all that? Yes, it’s so important.

00:30:23.329 –> 00:30:31.889
Yeah. And then in February, for the last two years, I have brought to Mississippi the PTSD 911 movie.

00:30:32.149 –> 00:30:35.229
Do you know about that? You were telling me about that. So it’s wonderful.

00:30:35.269 –> 00:30:39.209
Okay. This guy, Conrad Weaver, he is a documentary.

00:30:39.789 –> 00:30:44.469
That’s what he does. He writes documentaries. And I saw it during COVID,

00:30:44.469 –> 00:30:47.429
and I was like, that movie is amazing.

00:30:48.909 –> 00:30:51.909
So he came and he brought it two years ago.

00:30:52.109 –> 00:30:56.169
And then last year we showed it at, oh, I can’t think of the name of the church.

00:30:56.349 –> 00:30:58.429
It’s on Gluckstadt Road.

00:30:58.809 –> 00:31:02.309
Chapel of the Cross? No, that’s not Gluckstadt. Well, kind of.

00:31:02.429 –> 00:31:03.609
I think it starts with a V.

00:31:04.469 –> 00:31:06.949
Victory? Victory? No.

00:31:09.249 –> 00:31:14.049
Anyway, we showed it there too. And so I had just called Conrad and I said, you know,

00:31:14.249 –> 00:31:17.089
we need to do this every year because there’s new

00:31:17.089 –> 00:31:19.869
people coming on all the time or people that weren’t able

00:31:19.869 –> 00:31:22.809
to come see it and they need to come see it and every

00:31:22.809 –> 00:31:25.689
time we have shown it i’ve had plenty of people come

00:31:25.689 –> 00:31:28.629
up to me and say that movie that was

00:31:28.629 –> 00:31:31.449
serious yeah and that is what i’m living it’s real

00:31:31.449 –> 00:31:34.449
yes because there’s four characters in it

00:31:34.449 –> 00:31:37.209
and they’re walking through their life as being a

00:31:37.209 –> 00:31:40.169
first responder oh wow there’s not military people

00:31:40.169 –> 00:31:43.249
in there but the military life is exactly what

00:31:43.249 –> 00:31:48.069
a first responder’s life is and one is serving the united states government

00:31:48.069 –> 00:31:54.009
and one is serving your local communities and is that going to come every year

00:31:54.009 –> 00:32:02.329
now so every february we will show it ptsd 9-1-1 you need to look it up yeah i got the link okay good,

00:32:03.355 –> 00:32:09.195
Have there been any barriers? I know you’re partnered up with the right people, it sounds like.

00:32:09.335 –> 00:32:16.055
In the beginning, you know, were there any barriers for people to welcome y’all in as partners?

00:32:16.515 –> 00:32:21.715
Like, you know, we’re in Mississippi. I’m going to tell you right now, I’m a mama. Yeah.

00:32:22.875 –> 00:32:31.415
I don’t let anybody say no. So they listen because somehow I’m a mama and they

00:32:31.415 –> 00:32:32.555
wouldn’t say no to their mother.

00:32:32.795 –> 00:32:35.235
Yeah. Right. There’s no doubt. I love that.

00:32:35.715 –> 00:32:39.055
So everybody’s like, Susan, you have to be the face. Yeah. Because sometimes

00:32:39.055 –> 00:32:43.375
I’m exhausted or I’m just like, I don’t have it in me today.

00:32:43.635 –> 00:32:47.715
Right. And they’ll be like, we can do as much as we can, but I will tell you

00:32:47.715 –> 00:32:49.415
that they want to see your face. Yeah.

00:32:49.995 –> 00:32:53.615
So I have to pep myself up and say, I’m not doing it for me.

00:32:53.615 –> 00:32:56.355
I’m doing it for that other person. That’s right. That’s right. That’s right.

00:32:57.792 –> 00:33:02.152
So good. Susan, I know Michael is so proud of you.

00:33:02.312 –> 00:33:07.332
Yeah. Well, I do feel him saying, Mom, you’re doing a good job. I do. Yeah.

00:33:08.092 –> 00:33:14.792
Yeah. I know he is. It’s just, you know, recovering in any form or fashion out

00:33:14.792 –> 00:33:16.012
loud will help somebody.

00:33:16.612 –> 00:33:20.672
Absolutely. It does, and that’s the thing. So many people don’t want to talk about their story.

00:33:21.112 –> 00:33:27.332
Yeah, right. And that’s so sad to me because that person that you love so much,

00:33:27.592 –> 00:33:29.532
they meant something. Of course.

00:33:29.812 –> 00:33:34.792
They were larger than life. And so don’t you want to tell their little fun stories,

00:33:34.812 –> 00:33:37.472
even if it’s a scary story or a sad story?

00:33:38.132 –> 00:33:40.832
Yes, you want to do that. Yeah, for sure.

00:33:41.872 –> 00:33:49.692
I think for speaking for myself, it was hard for me to do that for a long time.

00:33:49.692 –> 00:33:52.432
Different situations obviously but just to

00:33:52.432 –> 00:33:55.552
talk about my own personal recovery journey

00:33:55.552 –> 00:33:58.252
and what that’s looked like right you know you kind of

00:33:58.252 –> 00:34:01.472
it’s messy yeah it’s it’s messy yeah and

00:34:01.472 –> 00:34:04.432
i will never forget the first time i had to share the story was when

00:34:04.432 –> 00:34:07.272
i went i joined this group in madison it’s called too

00:34:07.272 –> 00:34:10.352
soon do you know about it so it’s for moms

00:34:10.352 –> 00:34:13.152
that have lost children of all kinds of ways but it’s for

00:34:13.152 –> 00:34:16.112
moms and there’s a special little garden

00:34:16.112 –> 00:34:19.172
at strawberry patch park for us we have little bricks

00:34:19.172 –> 00:34:23.072
for our children’s names all around this water fountain and

00:34:23.072 –> 00:34:26.552
when you join the group the first thing you have to do is you have to share

00:34:26.552 –> 00:34:29.932
your story and I was like oh my gosh it’s only been four months I don’t know

00:34:29.932 –> 00:34:35.712
if I can do it and they said it doesn’t matter how long it takes just you’ll

00:34:35.712 –> 00:34:41.072
realize as you talk about your story it’s really helping you I thought they were crazy.

00:34:41.512 –> 00:34:45.992
But I eventually was able to say the whole story that night.

00:34:46.372 –> 00:34:51.372
I was a mess. I was like, you know, crazy. But anyway, I thought,

00:34:51.572 –> 00:34:55.412
okay, that wasn’t so bad. So, yeah.

00:34:56.127 –> 00:35:00.447
Tell me the name of that group again. Too Soon. Okay. And it’s at Broadmoor. Okay.

00:35:01.107 –> 00:35:07.567
Three ladies actually started it. And Christine Kelly, do you know her? Yeah, yeah, yeah.

00:35:07.707 –> 00:35:13.627
I know you’re- So she actually is the main person. And we’re always so thankful

00:35:13.627 –> 00:35:16.607
for her because if it wouldn’t have been for her to start it,

00:35:16.787 –> 00:35:19.527
we would have never, ever met any of these other mothers.

00:35:19.727 –> 00:35:21.987
Is this Sam Clayton’s mom? Yes. Yes.

00:35:23.727 –> 00:35:28.567
Yeah. Yeah. Well, his mother is Kim Kelly. Okay.

00:35:28.827 –> 00:35:33.587
And the other one. Walker. Yes. So I was, that’s really cool.

00:35:34.467 –> 00:35:38.827
I grew up going to church with Sam Clayton. Okay. And I was a K-8 Ole Miss.

00:35:38.827 –> 00:35:42.087
And then the Will Banks. Yeah, Walker. Walker Will Banks.

00:35:42.827 –> 00:35:47.027
Friends with his cousin. You know, that makes, I don’t know,

00:35:47.227 –> 00:35:51.187
I knew who Sam Clayton was more so than I knew those guys just because Sam Clayton

00:35:51.187 –> 00:35:54.707
and I knew each other since we were like six years old at Christ United. Okay.

00:35:55.167 –> 00:35:59.547
And I know his family and I know who he surrounded himself with.

00:35:59.667 –> 00:36:03.947
And I just, I can already envision how powerful that, that group is. It is amazing.

00:36:04.507 –> 00:36:07.947
Those mamas make things happen. Yeah. Yeah. They’re not playing around. Nope.

00:36:08.587 –> 00:36:13.567
Hmm. That is good stuff. I’m going to have to, yeah, I’d like to get them on

00:36:13.567 –> 00:36:15.327
too. That’d be great. For sure.

00:36:16.127 –> 00:36:22.107
Whew. Yeah. That was a, that was tough for a lot of us for sure. We were 18.

00:36:23.527 –> 00:36:28.887
Babies. I think it’s coming up today. Yeah, that makes sense.

00:36:29.027 –> 00:36:32.187
Usually it’s like third or fourth week of football season, typically.

00:36:32.827 –> 00:36:34.047
I can’t remember the date.

00:36:34.980 –> 00:36:40.340
Yeah, it’s powerful. Wow. How do we get the word out?

00:36:40.740 –> 00:36:48.720
I just need people constantly sharing and talking about us. And that’s really how it happens.

00:36:49.280 –> 00:36:53.120
You know, we’re constantly pushing on social media and doing whatever.

00:36:53.460 –> 00:36:57.220
Facebook, Instagram. Yeah. And now I’m like, oh, my gosh, I got to come up with a TikTok.

00:36:57.700 –> 00:37:01.620
Oh, my gosh, I got to come up with a YouTube. People are saying,

00:37:01.640 –> 00:37:03.040
you got to do all these things. I’m like.

00:37:03.300 –> 00:37:09.400
I know. So anyway, everybody picks a different social avenue to look at.

00:37:09.740 –> 00:37:13.520
No doubt about it. Some people do all of it. All of them. Yes.

00:37:13.620 –> 00:37:15.640
It’s too much for my brain. Mine too.

00:37:17.360 –> 00:37:22.580
Well, I’m hoping that when this comes out, you know, please share it on y’all’s

00:37:22.580 –> 00:37:24.700
platforms. We’ll share it on all of our platforms.

00:37:25.220 –> 00:37:32.060
And share the book because the book is so helpful in so many ways.

00:37:32.660 –> 00:37:35.860
We also help churches with grief share.

00:37:36.280 –> 00:37:40.120
A lot of churches don’t have a lot of money to supply grief share,

00:37:40.220 –> 00:37:43.700
but you need it because everybody, we know we’re not living forever.

00:37:43.980 –> 00:37:47.460
Right, right. We know we’re all going, and this is not our home.

00:37:47.680 –> 00:37:51.600
Right, right. We’re just temporarily here. Right. But when you lose a loved

00:37:51.600 –> 00:37:54.920
one, you know, you don’t know how you’re going to handle that grief because

00:37:54.920 –> 00:37:56.040
we’re not really taught.

00:37:56.100 –> 00:38:01.100
It’s icky and you think you’re the only one and you’re really not.

00:38:01.100 –> 00:38:04.680
So we encourage all churches to have grief share.

00:38:05.020 –> 00:38:10.260
And so we want to pay for that. We buy their materials. So the loved one doesn’t

00:38:10.260 –> 00:38:11.740
have to worry about funds.

00:38:12.040 –> 00:38:16.620
Just come. And actually, you need to go through grief share three or four times.

00:38:16.620 –> 00:38:19.400
Because the first time, you don’t know what you’re doing.

00:38:19.720 –> 00:38:25.460
You’re just kind of there. And you are not really learning because you’re just

00:38:25.460 –> 00:38:27.100
hoping that you’re going to feel better.

00:38:27.340 –> 00:38:31.080
You think, maybe today I’m not going to cry. it was like four and a half months

00:38:31.080 –> 00:38:36.400
before I didn’t cry one day yeah like I cried every day yeah and then all of

00:38:36.400 –> 00:38:38.120
a sudden I was like I didn’t cry.

00:38:39.203 –> 00:38:44.123
Is that bad? Yeah. But no, it’s not bad. No, it’s not. It’s part of healing. It is.

00:38:44.423 –> 00:38:50.983
And the grief recovery process is, you know, it is, it’s a thing and it takes a long time. Yes.

00:38:51.223 –> 00:38:55.323
There is no doubt about that. And people that are specialized in grief,

00:38:55.783 –> 00:38:57.303
you know, that’s a powerful thing too.

00:38:57.463 –> 00:39:02.383
There are a few people in town that are, but that’s something that I wish was talked about more.

00:39:02.603 –> 00:39:07.463
Me too, because it’s not a certain way. Everybody grieves totally different.

00:39:07.963 –> 00:39:11.303
I remember there was one friend, and she made me so mad.

00:39:12.583 –> 00:39:16.783
I told my husband to tell her not to come to my house ever again because she

00:39:16.783 –> 00:39:19.783
kept trying to do things for me in gift wise.

00:39:20.523 –> 00:39:24.543
I didn’t want a gift. I wanted you to come down and sit by me on my couch and

00:39:24.543 –> 00:39:29.823
hold my hand and don’t tell me I did something wrong because what’s that going

00:39:29.823 –> 00:39:32.023
to do for me? Just make it worse.

00:39:32.463 –> 00:39:36.123
Right. And then I also wanted to go to a room where I could just throw every

00:39:36.123 –> 00:39:38.683
single piece of dish and hit somebody.

00:39:38.883 –> 00:39:42.023
I mean, I just really did. Yeah. I thought I was losing my mind.

00:39:42.583 –> 00:39:48.363
But it wasn’t wrong. No. No, not at all. No, that was me. It was yours. Yes.

00:39:49.123 –> 00:39:54.483
It was your grief. Yes. Yeah, that’s something that’s never going to be cookie

00:39:54.483 –> 00:39:57.323
cutter for anybody. No. No, it’s just not.

00:39:57.963 –> 00:40:03.423
So the book really does help along with the grief share book because it’s telling

00:40:03.423 –> 00:40:05.283
you different mother stories.

00:40:05.743 –> 00:40:10.403
You’re seeing not just one story, but all kinds of people’s stories.

00:40:10.403 –> 00:40:13.503
And that’s basically what Grief Share is about, too.

00:40:13.823 –> 00:40:18.743
And I’m so thankful they’re starting to put more in there about suicide and

00:40:18.743 –> 00:40:22.263
about narcotics and things because they didn’t do that.

00:40:22.343 –> 00:40:26.203
And so you thought if your child or your loved one died that way,

00:40:26.403 –> 00:40:28.123
I don’t want anybody to know about it.

00:40:28.763 –> 00:40:33.403
Don’t feel that way. Right. Because sin is sin.

00:40:33.963 –> 00:40:37.623
There’s not, oh, that’s the ultimate. Yeah. There’s not.

00:40:38.603 –> 00:40:44.863
For sure. Let me ask you this, Susan, as far as stigma goes in the active duty

00:40:44.863 –> 00:40:51.243
veteran first responder world, I know that as a country, again,

00:40:51.343 –> 00:40:53.123
I’m no data pro, but I know that,

00:40:53.760 –> 00:40:59.700
Outside of that realm, stigma has, there has been improvement in stigma around

00:40:59.700 –> 00:41:03.300
mental health issues, substance abuse issues, and things like that.

00:41:03.540 –> 00:41:08.740
But I have been around enough veterans and active duty service members that we have treated before.

00:41:09.080 –> 00:41:13.120
And kind of like with when we were talking about police officers and telling

00:41:13.120 –> 00:41:15.400
their boss and their job and things like that.

00:41:15.540 –> 00:41:19.720
Have you seen from where you sit an improvement in stigma?

00:41:20.160 –> 00:41:22.800
Yes. So I will tell you. Finally.

00:41:23.540 –> 00:41:27.440
Several places have asked me to come speak to their first sergeants,

00:41:27.640 –> 00:41:34.860
to just their crew, to let them know this is a thing. We know it’s a thing.

00:41:35.840 –> 00:41:39.820
So this is something that we could offer you if you’re willing.

00:41:40.680 –> 00:41:44.360
And they will come up and say, can I have a whole bunch of pamphlets to keep

00:41:44.360 –> 00:41:46.100
in my car? Give out to my buddies.

00:41:46.320 –> 00:41:50.440
And I’ll just give them because when I hear that, it’s happening.

00:41:50.440 –> 00:41:54.620
Like they’re seeing it they’re hearing it and

00:41:54.620 –> 00:42:00.020
you can do all you can for an individual and you have to remember it’s not our

00:42:00.020 –> 00:42:06.860
place to save it’s just our place to help right because if it doesn’t work you

00:42:06.860 –> 00:42:11.980
did everything you could right so don’t give up but they have to make the decision,

00:42:13.120 –> 00:42:15.600
that’s good to hear very good to hear,

00:42:16.455 –> 00:42:21.215
Well, this has been awesome. I really appreciate you coming out here.

00:42:21.295 –> 00:42:24.275
And I’m looking forward to more people learning about Mission Vigilant.

00:42:25.595 –> 00:42:32.615
It’s just, it’s real. It is. It’s real. And it’s. Where can we get the book?

00:42:33.035 –> 00:42:39.055
So it’s on Amazon, or you can also look at our website and ask for a copy.

00:42:39.255 –> 00:42:41.255
And if you do that, I will sign it for you.

00:42:42.315 –> 00:42:45.495
We will drop the link. Signature. Love that.

00:42:45.735 –> 00:42:51.655
Signature. We will drop the link for the website and everything when we send this out.

00:42:51.855 –> 00:42:55.035
But yeah, Susan, is there anything else you want to talk about?

00:42:55.295 –> 00:42:59.195
I just thank y’all so much for letting me share and doing this.

00:42:59.415 –> 00:43:02.135
Yeah. Because it sounds like you’re going to have so many different stories

00:43:02.135 –> 00:43:06.155
and I can’t wait. We’re going to bring on all types of people.

00:43:06.355 –> 00:43:10.035
And you were certainly one that we wanted to come in. So thank you. Absolutely.

00:43:10.375 –> 00:43:13.455
Thank you so much, Susan. Thank you. All right.

00:43:14.195 –> 00:43:17.175
Awesome. Great. Thank you.